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Monday, December 8, 2008

I Was A Teenage Mommy.....

Hi,my name is Bridget and I am happy to be a contributor for this blog. I was a teenage mommy too. I would love to share a little bit about my story if it may be of help in anyway. I became pregnant with my first child when I was just 18. Not married. I was in total shock! If I can be totally honest with you, I thought it took a lot more than what we did to make a baby. Don't laugh and maybe I was naive but I did not know you could get pregnant that easy. I planned on saving myself for marriage, and being young and stupid I gave in. My boyfriend Justin (now husband)and I always talked about getting married when we finished college. We often talked about the future and having kids.
Just not now, we had too much we wanted to do and we were too young.
I told my boyfriend (Justin) on his 21st birthday. I said, "Happy Birthday I'm pregnant!" Just what you want to hear on your 21st isn't' it? He was in shock too! That should of been our first clue on how fertile I was...haha ( I can laugh now)
He had just turned 21 was in college, playing college baseball and working at the hospital part time. I was 18 working as a waitress and had just got excepted into the Screen Actors Guild and got a principal part on a new pilot show. I also had just finished a t.v. series for TNT and they wanted to use me again in the next series. Life was going good. We had our whole lives ahead of us.
Until one morning I didn't feel myself. I was so tired and just knew something wasn't right. Sure enough I was pregnant! A friend took me to family planning (not knowing what I do now about that place) I took the test and I will never forget the lady's words," Your pregnant, when would you like to schedule the termination?" The what? I didn't get what she was talking about at first. I guess she just figured I was young or maybe the tears she just figured that's what I would do. I just looked at her and said," no, never I will go ahead and have this baby." then I left crying. I cried and cried and prayed like I've never prayed before. I remember feeling a peace come over me. God still loved me even though I had failed and he would help me through this. I re-dedicated my life to the Lord that night and new everything was going to be ok. I now was more worried about what everyone was going to say? I couldn't tell my dad or my grandpa. Do you know how ashamed they would be? I kept thinking of his parents and what they would say? What would everyone think of me? That's all I cared about was what everyone else was going to say. I knew I could handle it, and we could get through it together but I was afraid of what everyone else would think.
I was told by some close people to terminate the pregnancy because there is no way we could afford the baby. I heard all about how we should let Justin finish college and let me pursue my acting career. No one's going to want to cast a pregnant teenager. Justin and I knew that was not an option.
Justin dropped out of school to get a full time job at a tire store. I started going to cosmetology school full time and waitress at night up until I delivered. We got engaged and planned to get married when the baby was 3 months. Despite people saying just go get married before the baby's born. I also had people that couldn't believe I was planning a wedding. You mean your having a big wedding??? All I had to say to that was, how many people do you know that walk down the aisle in their big white dress that just got lucky. It could of easily happen to them but because I happen to get pregnant and keep the baby I didn't deserve it??? wrong!
It was hard, being pregnant at such a young age and watching your body change and gain a lot of weight etc. I remember all my friends were going to the beach and wearing cute summer clothes and I was just sitting at home feeling fat and tired.
I remember not knowing anything. I had never changed a diaper before ever! I remember hearing about an episiotomy for the first time and freaking out and knowing that this baby had to come out. I was scared.
I joined a bible study and they threw me a big baby shower, my mom and grandma had two big showers for me. Once everyone knew how hard Justin and I were working to make everything work and were doing it all on our own we had a lot of support.
I gave birth to a healthy baby boy! We named him Austin. The first time I saw him I was so in love! It was worth everything I had gone through. The shame, the embarrassment, the hard work etc
We got married 3 months later.
Justin and I have been happily married for 9 years now and just had our 5th baby. We proved a lot of people wrong. We are so thankful to God for turning a bad situation into the best situation. I have learned not to worry about what everyone else thinks.
Every time I look at my son Austin it is a reminder of God's mercy. He is the most amazing boy and I thank God for him everyday! I thank God for my husband and the man and father he has become. I recently had a young teenage girl ask me if being a mom was hard. I told her, "Being a mommy is easy, but being a "good" mommy is what's hard."
I know not everyone is as fortunate to have a loving boyfriend/husband, but the love of your baby is enough to get you through this:)






8 comments:

Brittany said...

Glad to meet you Bridget and hear your story. I hope to get to know you and Kadi even more while we help her and enjoy this experience with her!

Chef Eureka said...

Very nice to meet you. I was with my husband, we were dating, when he turned 21. I didn't give him that news until he was 23 or so. :)

My Two Army Brats said...

Thanks for sharing! I'm well beyond having possibly become a teen mother but it was a serious fear for me because it was a reality on so many of my family members. I'm always impressed with the stories that end on such a happy note!

Bridgett said...

Nice to meet you, Bridgett. Wonderful story with a happy ending. :)

XXOO

Miranda said...

Neat story. I too was a teenage mom and married my daughter's father. It's always great to hear about similar situations that have a good ending.

Shannon Hartz said...

Bridget - what a testimony you and Justin have:) You have so much to be proud of. thanks for sharing:) Love, Shan

Michelle said...

Nice to meet you bridget. I love your blog. What a wonderful way to give well need advice to others. Thanks for stopping by my place.

Katy S said...

Thank you so much for your story. I too was a young mother who got pregnant at 18. Still to this day it is hard remembering how tough those days were. No on was excited. I didn't get to share the joy of a baby because of my age. Everytime I saw the girls gossiping about me, I knew well God had a plan for me. It could of just as well been them, but I was the lucky one. My husband and I only had love and have made the absolute best of everything with God's grace. I can't wait to read more posts, it is always nice to relate.